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Favorite Dan Stark Quotes

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"Let's bust some punks!"


"Sounds to me like quid pro, no quo. I want my quo."


"That SHIRT is egregious."


"It's not a toy! It's an orange gun!"


"This may be the week I get kicked off the force."




"I don't need my eyes to bust a punk. The only sense I need is my cop sense."


"Spicy! Spicy in my eyes!"


"This smells crimey."/"Yeah, boxes full of crime."


"I tell ya, if there's anything I hate more than a thief, it's running."


"My shirt's undergoing some minor repairs. Sauce-related repairs."


"How am I supposed to keep you in the loop? Half the time I don't even know what I'm gonna do?"


"We gotta get some medicine for the computer machine!"


"I may fail you. It's too early to tell."


"What the hell kind of jukebox doesn't have Foghat?"


"After she took your manhood, where did she put it? Did she put it in a jar or something?"


"I've realized that when I break the rules, I not only put myself in danger, but I put the people I care about in danger. It's worth it, because that's what makes me a great cop."


"A sandwich without meat isn't a sandwich, it's just lonely bread."


"The only time a man should go to a hospital is when he's been shot. And I'm not talking about the leg or the shoulder or something you can fix with duct tape."

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"ACLU? What the hell's that? One of those girly little cars you gotta plug in?"


"I'm sorry you screamed like a girl when I shot you with my toy plastic gun."


"Only those who fear the truth need a lawyer. The righteous do not pay by the hour."


"You always have an escape hatch in your bedroom, Jack-o. It's a lesson of love."

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  • 3 weeks later...

"I am PROUD of my willingness to lubricate myself for the cause of justice!" ROFLMAO.


"Hey, grasshopper, here's an insight. Sometimes criminals LIE."


"You give that computer machine a biscuit for me."


"Crime is like a woman. When she needs your attention, you gotta pull your gun out and..."


"If it's worth driving to, it's worth driving to fast."

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